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Less Criticism, More Understanding

3/16/2015

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As human beings we are always so quick to judge others. Especially other Mother's- how they dress their kids, what they feed them, if they have a strict routine or no routine at all. It’s easy to criticize how messy other people’s backyards are before we clean up our own.

From the first night we spent with our son, I had a feeling he was going to be an awful sleeper. He stayed awake, cried and fussed majority of the night. For the first 4 months he woke up every hour to hour and a half to eat. And at 6 weeks he had colic... until he was 6 months. Needless to say, sleep was not an option for him... or me. It’s funny, nothing and no one can prepare you for Motherhood. Despite the sleepless (still sleepless) nights, being a mother is the best thing I have ever done in my life. And I think I’ve done some pretty good things- but nothing has or will compare to being a mom to my sweet baby boy.

Like other new momma’s I'm sure, I read, researched, surveyed and asked people about what their kids sleeping/nap and overall routine was. Most of them varied, some were very organized and strangely everyone else’s babies slept through the night from 6 weeks on. We will get to that in a bit.

When my son turned 6 weeks, he was all of a sudden colic. He cried from the minute he woke up, fussed all day and cried from 7-10 routinely every night until he was 6 months. At this point, the thought of sleep training or leaving him in his crib wasn’t an option because I needed sleep. He slept in his bassinet beside our bed until he was about 4 ½ months and then I put him in his crib. He stayed in his crib until he was sick when he was 7 months and he kept waking up every 15 minutes so I decided to bring him into our bed. 


Jaxson has slept in our bed since then. I have tried to sleep train,  the Ferber method, I have lied on the floor in his room beside his crib for hours and nothing has worked. I have read, researched and chatted with other mom’s and I have tried EVERYTHING. And everything just seemed to make my son more and more upset. He would cry and cry and as soon as I brought him in our bed he stopped, he was happy, warm, safe & content. Those other methods may work for other babies, but they didn't work for mine. 


I know a lot of people say it’s ‘bad’ that my son sleeps with me, and that’s fine because that’s their opinion. A lot of opinions that we get as mother's are unsolicited. They don't know my son, I do. My brother and I both slept with our mom quite a bit and we both turned out well- I am a teacher and he’s in medical school.

I think the best advice I can give other new mom’s and momma’s out there is that each child is a precious and unique gift from God, all with their own individual quirks, likes and dislikes and what works for one may not work for another. So, before you listen to your friend whose 4 week old is sleeping soundly through the night (they're lying), look at what works best for your child, their happiness and your family. And remember before you start pointing out other people’s ‘problem’s’, take a good hard look in the mirror and realize that none of us are perfect, but we all love our children and are trying to be the best mother’s we can.



xo, Tara

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