Long time, no speak. I had originally planned on writing this post and sharing some of my maternity must haves (which I will still do), I also have a pet peeve that I felt I needed to address.
In case you haven’t been around , we announced a while ago that we were expecting our third babe. I am officially in my third trimester (for the third time- yikes!) 29 weeks and I have been feeling a whole lot better than I was in my first trimester. Of my three pregnancies this one has definitely been the most difficult first trimester. I was vomiting (which I did not do with my other two) and generally felt ill all of the time. I am feeling so much better and am so excited to meet this new babe.
It's funny that as people we tend to forget certain moments, comments, conversations that we have. This being my third time being pregnant, I often wonder why people (friends, family, strangers) find it acceptable to make comments to pregnant women about how they look, how much weight they have gained or the potential size of their baby.
With my first two pregnancies, I gained between 28-35 pounds. I could of, according to my OB gained up to 50 pounds (because of my starting weight) and be healthy and have a healthy child.
I remembered that people had made comments to me in my first two pregnancies, a lot of them so kind and lovely and some the opposite. The negative comments, unfortunately, are the ones that you seem to remember. I was out last week, and someone that I know had said that I look like I put on more weight than I did with my daughter. My first thought was , well that’s not actually true, my second thought was, how rude is it to say that to someone and then my last was, if I did, who cares?! Does that really matter?!
But to some, it must. I had experienced comments similar to this from people, family members (not my immediate family) and others. And I wondered, would it be ok if I went up to someone who was not pregnant and said “looks like you put on some more weight!” Or “ your face looks fat!”, both comments that I have heard myself. It is almost as though being pregnant gives people a free pass to say hurtful comments. I have also heard and still hear that my stomach looks small, which "must" mean that my baby is small.
This all really had me thinking about so many things. What if I was someone who was very insecure about my weight or how I looked ( thank goodness I am not), what if I was someone who was very sensitive to hurtful comments (I have gotten good at not caring about people's ridiculous comments), what if I was like many women and had difficulties conceiving (I thank god that I am not) and I was finally able to conceive my miracle baby. I want to know what gives people the right to make these comments at all. Does it stem from their own insecurities ? Their own issues?
To that I will never know. What I do know is, I have been blessed to conceive and grow now 3 beautiful babies, that my body has been capable of carrying, delivering and breastfeeding two of them so far. What I also know is that the reality of being pregnant, is gaining weight, for some getting stretch marks, for others a long and difficult labour, delivery and recovery. What I also know is that women are amazing- what our bodies go through in those 10 months, and afterward is truly remarkable. Instead of the negatives, we need to focus on the beauty of pregnancy and support each other.
Stay Fancy, Tara